How do we feel soft when the going gets rough and tough?
It can be hard to be grateful when we did not get something we wanted.
It can be tough to smile when there is more month at the end of the money.
It can be a struggle to enjoy life when life seems not to be smiling at us.
How do we know we deserve something when we have never even smelt that thing or know what it feels like?
How do we know we deserve to smile at life whatever is happening?
What is the point of a softer life or deserving not to be in survival mode ??
What difference would it make either way?
What research has shown is that it is what we observe that becomes form, I.e. becomes matter.
Our observation of life, the attention we give to life, our gratitude, hope, faith, love, affection, that forms our experience.
Life is a reflection, a mirror for us.
Life reflects survival or softening depending of what we are holding within, our perceptions?
Soft, Ease or Survival Mode starts within us.
This is why when the going gets tough, the tough folks have to become soft, i.e. more compassionate, to see the reflection change.
I think we deserve a soft life. No one is saying that we cannot chose to be tough, to be rough and tumble, to turn up the volume knob of drama and make things a little more chaotic.
This we often do: we make up the drama with our thoughts and interactions, not always consciously
And this is fine.
We all know the difference between making up the drama and when drama hits us out of the blue.
Very few of us like chaos catching us by surprise.
We do not mind starting something but we do prefer to be left alone when we are not starting anything.
At least the idea of a soft, respectful, if not loving environment, is appreciated by many of us. To have that softer environment when we need it, especially, if we have not initiated any drama.
This is regardless of what we may hold against our own self based on past actions or our beliefs about the benefits in being a strong hard worker, or being seen as one.
Peace and calm go a long way in our environment, as we get on with the business of our day.
Would we not rather have this peace and calm when you want it, this softness?
Could this become a desire for it? Just the allowing of a bit more ease especially at those times we know we need it.
Can we allow more ease with our desire for it?
The desire for a soft, softer environment can become a belief that the soft, supporting environment will be well received and even perfectly aligned to our other desires.
We could actually begin to feel we deserve it, not in an egotistical way, but as a reflection of the soft light in our own self.
We all know those vulnerable parts of us that are sensitive and private.
These parts of us resonate with ease, with support, softness. Parts of us very much already feel well matched and ready, deserving of softer life experiences.
Resonance and Perception
Being in a soft environment resonates with aspects of many of us. We react to the resonance in different ways, depending on whether we hold a perception of deserving it or not.
The resonance to softness is one thing and our perception of the meaning of it, is another.
We may resonate with being understood and supported a little bit more, if not at all times, but our perceptions of what this support means in how we relate with others or how they relate with us, as a result of the support we are receiving may be another matter.
The event is one thing, our perception of the event is another. Our perceptions are unique and valuable based on our programming. They form the foundation of our habits and it is important to be non judgmental about them. It is also important to acknowledge those times when we discovered that our perceptions were one thing and what was happening was different. It allows us to open up to being less fixed in our perceptions, to be more open minded.
For instance times when we have a perception that someone is full of themselves, not engaging with others or looking down at others, and we discover that their attention was simply elsewhere or they did not have the energy or inclination to engage.
Our perceptions are the meanings we give to occurrences and to the behaviours of others.
Different folks will have different perceptions of the same thing and these perceptions impact on how life presents and changes for us. This is why perception is vital. I talk about this as well in Having a New Reality.
We may perceive, think that when others see us having an easier life, they will do something to attack or spoil it for us. Or we may think that when we begin to have an easier life that we will take things/people for granted and become the not so pleasant, even lazy person we 'know' we really are deep down?.
These thought perceptions are in our own minds. This is it, we are not discussing them with anybody or using them to do any work. They are not even being tested out. We are just holding these beliefs that having an easier life will lead to attacks or us becoming a bad version of us.
We can be more amenable to changing our own perceptions as needed. Charles Darwin once said "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change".
We think that life needs to be hard to bring out the best in us. Now I do not know about anyone else, but for me, and what is happening around me and in my own reality, I believe life needs to really be not so hard, in order to bring out the best in us. I do better when I feel supported actually. This is true for many of us. We succeed with more ease when we feel supported. I talk about this also in Softening Resistance to Suffering.
Many of us would welcome more ease. Many of us will hold more light in, through our inner work, to have more support, love and ease around us, reflected back to us.
Many of us would probably welcome softer environments. We would resonate with having more support, understanding, collaborative attitudes, intuitive interactions etc.
Many of us feel we deserve such a soft environment and will happily hold beliefs that rewire their internal systems into new states of being.
Many of us are ready to get out of survival mode, feeling unsupported, pushed against, marginalised, disenfranchised, in a place of lack more often than not place.
Many of us are ready to get out of survival mode.
If you are one of these folks, I invite you to connect with me on a Clarity Call to explore your resonance and perceptions around a key aspect of life and together we heal resistance and clarify ways to move forward.
Finding ways to hold a deeper essence of ease within to naturally reflect ease in our life is key.
We often engage with the outside to dismantle the rough and tough, which is not necessarily without value. The engagement is best, coming from a place of inspired creativity, rather than a place of fear of retribution or perception of potential loss of something.
Our inner child healing opens us more to our inspired creativity. There are many modalities such as energy healing, light language, breathwork, meditation that support us to release the hold of the external engagements to allow more attention to be placed within us, which is where getting out of survival mode really begins and ends.
If you are interested in experiencing a change in your outlook, outcomes or experiences and want to work with me as your coach, check out my SMITT Emotional Mastery program here
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