What happens when enough is enough?
We all know times when we feel enough is enough. Times we say we have had enough of something and we walk away and never go back. And also times when we pause, and then we go back to it. It could be anything.
Could be exercise, food, sex, work, a relationship, a job, smoking, drinking behaviour, activity etc. Times we vow that we have had enough of a thing and that we should be crucified if we go back to it. And then, somehow, we find a reason to go back to it.
How do all these times differ? When is Enough truly Enough? When do we actually walk away and never look back?
When do we leave the job, habit, activity, relationship, stress that we have had enough of?
Firstly, we know that having enough of an experience usually comes about when we are not particularly enjoying the experience. Of course, there can sometimes be "too much of a good thing", (usually because of where our attention is focused, as is the way we perceive life).
However, in most cases, we are having enough of a bad situation, a low frequency experience.
I have come to realise that nothing ends unless we choose to end it. The bad situation does not end unless it is considered to have played out it’s time. The consideration and choice need to be heartfelt. Everyone has their threshold to journey, to reach their heart from their mind, so we are all different in how long we stay in a challenge. This is how we all have different unique inner resilience for different things.
The choice to stay or walk away from the stress may be subconscious, if there is enough self love stored up within to act without much conscious thought. This is why inner child healing is so key. It takes conscious practice to heal our inner child and rewire our subconscious reflexes. We cannot suddenly start instinctively doing things that serve us, until we have put some of those self loving habits into practice, with conscious dedication and courage.
Consciously, doing the practice, every day. This is the work I support my clients to do in my program. Things in life happen around us according to our state of being within us, as we evolve.
Many concepts around us demonstrate this connection between the inner world and the outside. One of the most popular concepts is "the law of attraction". This notion of a reflection is also in the teachings of "As above, so below". We can begin to see that what we are experiencing on the outside is a reflection of what is within us. It starts within, in our alignment to higher mind.
The experiences on the outside, (things we are having enough of), do not end unless we end it within us as higher beings. The ending is a decision.
Things in life can just go on, and on, for years in endless loops based on one form of inner reasoning or another. Or they can just stop. Both can happen in different loops.
And it is all fine. It is fine for us to explore a theme or not. To explore in anyway we wish to or not. To explore good times and to explore stress times.
We know we can have an experience for as long as we wish to. We tend to do this anyway, especially good times. We keep going with our good times, preserve them for as long as we consciously can. The good times usually just end by surprise, with a jolt sometimes. It is fine to have our joyful fulfilling experiences for as long as humanly possible. Yes. It is fine.
This article is for those things, times that we are not feeling joyful or even respected.
Ways to fully get to “Enough is Enough”.
We can pause to ponder of how this thing/situation impacts areas of our life.
This inner inquiry or self talk may require some self soothing. Honesty to self is key. We may need help to get through parts of it and this is natural to us all. There are many things we often have to consider when we find ourselves in situations that are far from pleasurable.
Questions to ponder on include
“What do we have to gain from staying in the stress situation?”,
“What will we lose on top of what we know we are already losing?”
For instance, if the situation is about being stuck doing a stressful job. The reasons for staying would probably include financial stability, social inclusion, creative development, freedom, economic status, etc. The reasons for walking away could include health issues, moral obligations, financial stability, social exclusion, limited creative development, etc.
If in our self talk, there are more reasons to stay in the stressful situation, Enough is not Enough. Not fully.
Every situation is different and some things we will find easier to walk away from than others. It is worth saying that there are very few situations that people have not walked away from. Even parents of very vulnerable children have walked away, when enough is truly enough.
So no situation is sacred from coming to an end. It is a matter of the beliefs and how much acceptance we are holding about a situation.
Our acceptance of the outcome of our self talk brings peace and ease of being. If we are not in a place of acceptance after our self talk, enough is not yet enough.
When Enough is Enough we are at peace with our decision. We realise what we can no longer experience. We have our thresholds, unique to us, and we accept things as we understand our own self and get clear on what we need to do next. We allow ourselves take necessary steps to explore other options.
Enough is truly enough when we transform into self acceptance.
HOW DO WE REACH SELF ACCEPTANCE?
The key factor is for the situation to be accepted as a part of our path, our destiny, karma, portfolio. This acceptance has to be loving, not critical.
If we accept the situation only half heartedly, if we feel forced or coerced in our decision, the thoughts in our mind will bring suffering. To feel forced is the private container of many forms of unhealthy explorations.
The acceptance to stay with the stress situation or to leave the situation, I.e.when enough is fully enough, has to be 100 percent, not 99 percent. Even the mustard seed is a whole seed. The acceptance of the pros and cons in our self talk has to be whole, 100%.
We can give ourselves the freedom to clarify --
what we want
what we do not want anymore
what is most important to us.
how safe we feel to stay or walk
Clarity increases and we get to 100% acceptance of key aspects of the situation.
We have to feel it is safe to change direction or stay. We may depend on a higher power, words of a trusted other, but our trust has to be real to us.
We can come to a place where we fully accept the situation, the theme, with all its knicks and knacks, known and unknown.
This full acceptance gets easier as we understand the reasons/beliefs behind our feelings, leanings to walk away, or to stay/or a bit of both.
When we have clarity around our whats and whys in the situation, we soften towards the experience. We are gentler of our own self and self acceptance is easier. The external experience comes to impact our internal experience as a reflection.
It is in this true reflection that Enough becomes fully Enough and we are at peace.
We find a way to soften into a variation; an alternative option, experience, theme that may bring a different outcome.
Life goes on and we can remember that all outcomes have light and shadow. All levels have joys and woes. We can begin to see the ups and downs frequencies as they unfold.
As we have overcome one situation that we had enough of, we may face another situation that takes us to a point where we once again ponder on whether enough is enough.
Acceptance is realised once again, with increasing inner integration and alignment to true self. This is what we cultivate on the SMITT Program.
If you are interested in experiencing a change in your outlook, outcomes or experiences and want to work with me as your coach, check out my SMITT Emotional Mastery program here
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