Updated: Mar 5
Authenticity is a process of staying connected with your own self and being the author of your life.
So what does this really mean and how does the process actually work? Find out more now:
Authenticity is about your truer self expression. From birth, we start off expressing ourselves in the way that will get us accepted in our environment, by our caregivers, peers, community. We are actually expressing ourselves unconsciously, without much thought about it, fire fighting, being reactive.
From this unconscious place, we are not really thinking about who we are, what we aspire to, what makes us our best self, what defines us. We are not thinking about expressing our true self. We are more concerned with how we look, how we are perceived by others. From this unconscious place, we are mostly after what makes us more acceptable to others, what keeps us safe. From childhood, at schools, at work, we do what will please others and the idea of being a person separate from who others want us to be, does not exist. It is an uncomfortable thought to consider at the very least.
Then as time goes, we begin to feel the discomfort of relying on the perception of others. We observe the inconsistency in others, the contrasts, never ending. We begin to see how different everyone is and we begin to wonder who we are ourselves. We may begin to see how inconsistent we also are. The conflicts within those around us also exist within us.
Many questions begin to pop into our heads, for example, “Why am I interested in this?”or “what do I really want?”, “which personality is really me?”, “How am I different?“, “How am I the same?“, “Do I need to know?“, “Am I not doing ok?“. These questions begin to raise your curiosity about yourself, about the more consistent, truer version of yourself, if there could be such a thing.
Firstly let me say that Authenticity is not about being perfect. The self you are getting curious about is a self that contains many facets, including experiences from your past, the future, of both the flavors of sweet (light) and bitter sweet (shadow). It is a dynamic multi dimensional self. Scientists, especially post materialistic scientists, are yet to fully comprehend how complex and also how simple we really are.
As we get curious about our questions, and begin to observe our thoughts and emotions, we discover the various aspects of us, the happy side, the envious side, the side with low esteem, the confident side, the cautious side, the lion, the lioness, the kitten...etc. We see just how dynamic and multidimensional we are. Life becomes very interesting. It can also feel scary at first, because we may feel out of control and unstable. It is at this point that many of us back away from discovering our authentic self. I invite you to step forward at this point and consider the lifestyle where in any given unforeseen situation, you step up, you have the resources you need and you achieve the best outcome beyond what you imagined. Every single time. Every single time - your imagination is surpassed. This is authenticity. You act true to your essence, you are aligned to your purpose, you are one with divine intelligence, with God.
“The greatest challenge in life is to be our own person and accept that being different is a blessing and not a curse. A person who knows who they are lives a simple life by eliminating from their orbit anything that does not align with his or her overriding purpose and values. A person must be selective with their time and energy because both elements of life are limited.” ~ Kilroy K Oldster
As we continue in our curiousity, we discover many aspects of our own self that is wise, joyful, peaceful, painful, angry, cold, warm, we understand that it’s all in us. This discovery is a life of illumination and acceptance, rather than sustained judgement. It is important to observe the parts of ourself that we want more of and parts of ourselves that we want less of, because they do not serve our desired lifestyle or life purpose. Authenticity involves a huge amount of self acceptance on one hand and an equally huge amount of letting go on the other.
Authenticity is a balance, it is about staying connected with who you are and letting go of the limitations, the armour, the guards that we have built around yourself, against love and because of fear.
It was the poet Rumi who said: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ― Rumi
As you begin to discover who you are, you observe and fine tune different skills and values that you come to see as your own. You know what we like to eat/not eat, drink/not drink, do/avoid:
✅ You are comfortable with yourself and with others
✅ You know what you are great at and what you have no idea of.
✅ You are comfortable with not knowing just as much as you are comfortable with being an expert.
✅ You are confident and your self worth is not dependent on what you eat, drink, know or do not know.
✅ Your confidence is dependent on your inner worth, your essence.
This is you living your authentic life.
The Authentic life is not static. It is dynamic, changing with the natural flow of life.....such as relationships, pregnancy, raising children, career, relationships, economic trends.... these experiences reveal to us more of who we are, aspects of ourselves and we continue to maintain the balance of self acceptance and letting go. We continue to craft, co create the life of our dreams.
“As self acceptance grows, your creative self expression flourishes”.
The word Authenticity comes from Authenteos, a Greek word which means “that which you do with your own hands”. This is the ongoing process of emotional and mental freedom called Authenticity. Psychologists who are interested in self actualisation, Carl Rogers, Abraham Maslow, talk about authenticity being a lifelong process of learning about yourself.
This deeper understanding, fine-tuning of yourself for your emotional and mental freedom is what Bola invites you to do, using proven transformational tools, in her 12 month Soulspace Method in Trauma Transformation (SMITT) group coaching program. Click here for more info
I am a Clarity and Emotional Freedom Coach. I empower you to cultivate emotional mastery. learn more about my Courses and programs here
Take the steps you need for your even more fulfilling life.
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