Updated: May 14
☘️Do you sometimes find yourself feeling low, all by yourself?
☘️Do you sometimes finish a task, a project and even though no one has said anything negative about it, you feel that it did not go well?
☘️Do you sometimes find yourself thinking thoughts that really do not serve you, but struggle to set them aside?
If this resonates with you, then this article is for you. There is a voice within us which has been programmed by significant persons that criticised us In non constructive ways. Their words are now internalized as the Inner Critic. We all have one. It is an aspect of the ego self. However, some of us manage and silence it better than others.
I will now share with you three tips which I use and teach others to use, to begin to silence the Inner Critic.
✅ Begin to notice how you feel within your body
Begin to notice where there are tensions in parts of your body, could be your lower stomach, your heart, your upper belly, your back, your shoulders, neck, thighs etc. Take a moment now to get a sense of where there is tension in your body. When I first started doing this, I felt tension absolutely everywhere, all over my body, so do not be alarmed if this is the case for you. You just want to be aware of the tension being there. You begin to raise your awareness of your body which is key to silencing the inner critic.
✅ Begin to hear what you are saying to yourself
The thoughts we hold, cause the feelings in the body. This has been proven through scientific research. When we think a positive thought, we feel good. It is that simple. When we are feeling tense, low, anxious, it is because we have contrasting thoughts running through our minds. We can begin to hear these thoughts when we draw our attention to it. When I started to do this, my mind initially appeared silent. I felt my mind was playing tricks on me. Then I heard white noise sounds like traffic on a motorway. It took some time for me to start hearing the actual words. Then there are times when the words, sentences flash through your mind - very quickly, you almost miss it if you are not paying attention. It could be sentences like “you are not good enough”, “I am not good enough”, “you are not as good as them”, “it was not a good outcome”. Get a notebook/journal and write down the phrases, sentences, words that you hear. Mindfulness is also a great tool to help you slow down and hear the words. These sentences of the Inner Critic become clearer as we pay attention. They are unique to each person depending on conditioning. Keep your attention on it and develop a knowlege of the common words, phrases, sentences of your Inner Critic.
✅ Reframe the language of the Inner Critic
The Inner Critic language can be reframed in a more positive way. You turn the words around to serve you better, to suit your ideal reality. Some call this ”faking it to make it”, because it does not feel or sound or even taste real. Do it anyway. Reframe the thought anyway, several times a day if need be and begin to see what happens to the tension in your body. For instance, if the thought you identify is “You are/I am not good enough”, you will reframe it to “I am good enough”. Or “I am not good enough on my own, I need to be married or In a relationship“, you would reframe it to “I am already complete, relationships complement me”. You may have to repeat the positive thought several times, put the line up in key places, for instance your phone, your mirror, your vision board etc. You want to embed the new thoughts.
As you practice these steps, you develop the reframing tool as a habit, it becomes a quick process to silence the Inner Critic. You feel the tension in your body, identify the thought and reframe it. Or you identify the thought, feel the tension and reframe it.
The silencing of your Inner Critic has a huge impact on our emotional and mental freedom. I empower my clients to consistently take these steps as part of my programs. Sometimes we need some help to apply them, so it is important to have courageous self compassion and get this help when we need it rather than struggle. I offer deeper exploration and release in my programs.
As we release our contrasting thoughts through reframing we begin to feel better about ourselves and our relationships improve. We reach out more towards our goals and we flow more easily with events in our lives.
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