It is natural for some anxiety to emerge at transitions such as this time. However as with all anxiety, when we get stuck and unable to recover, then it is key to pay more attention to overcoming it.
One may initially think that in the social isolation, social anxiety is no longer as prevalent.
Social Anxiety, especially on social media, is still a significant issue for many of us at this time.
Social Anxiety is when we find it difficult to engage with others because of two things:
❇️ we hold the belief that people have negative perceptions of us
❇️we hold the belief that we ourselves are not enough.
These two beliefs can be held consciously or subconsciously and are prevalent especially on social media.
We may or may not be fully aware of the limiting beliefs we hold or their impact. However they do still lead to considerable distress disrupting our lives and limiting our potential for joy and success.
With social anxiety, we hold beliefs that part or most of our creative self expression is not a welcome perspective, in some way, for one reason or another.
We think we are not where we should be by now and we hold limiting beliefs about our own worth. We feel not good enough. And we think others feel the same. In fact we may have some evidence that they do have unhelpful perceptions of us.
This causes us to perceive interactions in a more defensive way than we would prefer.
Many of us prefer to see such unhelpful evidence as a useful reflection of how a part of us feels and be inspired to recover and transform. However Social Anxiety after trauma makes it very hard to stop getting triggered by these unhelpful reflections such that we fight or flee when they come to our minds.
FIGHT OR FLEE
We either fight or flee when our social anxiety is triggered. We get defensive and attack (fight) or avoid engagement all together even with the other’s best intentions (flee).
Do you recognize which you tend to do the most?
I know exactly what social anxiety feels like. I remember the struggles I had with panic attacks, for weeks, before a social event and weeks afterwards, dwelling on interactions, actions and conversations that I did not think went well. I would usually hold the belief that I had made a huge mess. BIt is still a journey, with my daily toolkit, especially with all my social media engagement, lives, podcasts etc
We may have an interest or passion in self- improvement, wanting to clarify an aspect of our life or performance. However we may still not see our good as enough. We may play down or totally dismiss our own positive aspects. We may struggle with self acceptance.
We may also value more the opinions of others, even opinions they have not expressed, opinions we have imagined from them. These opinions would rarely consistently say good about us.
Self depreciation is emotionally exhausting and does not enhance our success.
Holding more empowering beliefs about your own self is not delusional or a waste of your time. It is absolutely essential. It is fundamental to recovery from anxiety and your success.
Healing from social anxiety, the Transformation starts with understanding the impact of social anxiety in your life, especially online, to raise your awareness of what you feel and to catch and release the tenseness in your body. It is also about reframing and rewiring your limiting thoughts.
Your can be:
✅Free of the panic attacks, the sleepless nights, the muscle tensions, the fast pounding heart.
✅ At ease within our own self and around others, wherever we are.
🔆Recovery is such that It is only after self acceptance of yourself, accepting yourself just as you are, without the change, that recovery, healing and transformation can occur consistently without self sabotage. 🔆
WHY IS SELF ACCEPTANCE SO HARD?
Self acceptance can be a challenge because we perceive our non preferred outcomes or behaviour very harshly.
It can be hard to learn that the Trauma we faced in childhood especially, caused deep physiological changes in our brain which leads to varying degrees of difficulties in how we process information and act in our day to day.
We compare ourself to others in ways that make us look lacking or less because our memories have stored less positive imprints of our own self.
After Trauma, It can be a struggle to see ourselves as ok, enough, amazing, awesome with all the shades of white and black.
It can be a struggle to feel we belong somewhere, let alone have a niche to work in or serve.
It can be hard to not take score of our limitations, so we find ourselves wanting to control much of what happens around us to protect ourselves from even more harm. But this leads to much focus on the outside rather than within us, which is where the focus, with compassion is best directed for the transformation of the limiting thoughts, beliefs, anxiety, fears etc.
Transformation of self, self improvement of any kind is an uphill struggle when the self that needs to do the improvement, the inner work, is disempowered and sees little point in putting any effort in.
In fact, at times, the effort put in is initially for the benefit of seeking positive perception of others, from the disempowered self state.
At times the effort of transformation is put in is for the benefit of revenge on those who made us suffer or feel pain.
The truth is that whatever the reason behind healing and recovery, it is ok. It really does not matter why you start, as long as the Transformation continues and goes beyond this physical self driven ego in state to a more higher self driven egoic state.
This higher self driven egoic state is where our creative self expression is coming from a more loving and compassionate place of infinite intellect. It is in this state that we enjoy the benefits of transforming anxiety.
BENEFITS OF TRANSFORMING ANXIETY
It is possible to recover from anxiety and transcend your emotional limits from an empowered self. You can be pro active, not resistant to the change, ready to let go of the fear, the beliefs and move on to the next step, as you are guided more and more by our heart.
It is possible to remain in a receptive mode at all times, even from deep in the subconscious level, pure positivity being demonstrated, synchronised to you as you relax into a quieter mind.
It is interesting how addicted we can be to a busy mind. I remember not being able to drive without some sound around me, such as music or having a conversation. We can struggle to focus on quiet, but this can be learnt.
Social anxiety is a disorder that you can recover fully from using resonant tools and strategies with the right support.
First you quieten the mind and release tensions in the body as you connect more to your heart.
Bola Abimbola MBPsS CTRC is an Emotional Freedom Coach and a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach (IAOTRC).
Access the popular “FEEL MORE CONFIDENT & RESILIENT DAILY” online course here: www.soulspacehealing.com/self-worth
Check out her FREE 5 day Perfectionism Detox Video series here: www.soulspacehealing.com/five-day-detox. It covers dealing with the inner critic and conquering fear.