Updated: Mar 5, 2021
Self improvement or Personal development’s huge dilemma is the fact that the self we are looking to improve is the self that needs to change. It is also the self that we operate with in the world on a day to day.
How do you start getting vulnerable with a self that you need to use to show confidence with?
How do you own up to having constraints when we want to be focused on expansion?
How to you stop feeling afraid concerned with what others think about you?
It is such a dilemma that often stops us, many of us in our tracks. Even when we gain the knowledge of what to do, insight on how we improve or allow our growth, it can be daunting and distracting to our daily life.
There is the initial fear of moving away, out of the familiar and this fear may spread out to the realisation that others around us will react differently to us.
We start off knowing we need to change. We set time aside, even go away on study breaks or retreats to understand our selves better and learn ways to do things differently. We then return to our daily tasks/ normal life and it seems nothing has changed. We struggle to maintain the pace or commitment to improving our own self because the self that needs to change, develops stronger skills to stay the same. It appears as if we have no way to change because it is all beyond what we can control or have a say in.
So the question is how do we improve our self when it is self that needs to change.
The first thing is to realise that this self is your ego self. It is
✅ a creation of your personal and social conditioning.
✅ programmed daily with or without your consent and
✅ is likely to resist change.
Once you realise and own these three points, it becomes easier to deal with the resistance that comes from the self, to understand the daily need and the dilemma of self improvement.
The only way to truly improve your self is to allow for a connection with a higher intelligence, within your inner core; to form a true partnership that allows you to step out of this self ( your ego self) and observe it.
As you continue with this observation, you begin to detach from your ego self, even as you continue with your daily life. The separation and detachment from your ego allows you to perceive with more clarity your strengths and your challenges. This clarity in knowledge of your self is important but having knowledge alone does not improve the self.
Self improvement requires practice of transformational tools with a daily focused dedication. You engage daily with the tools and resources that help you heal and grow. It is important to have an open mind, because your ego programming may hold judgements about certain tools that may very well be exactly what you need. Bear this in mind as you stay open and exploratory.
The more you can evolve as an observer of your ego self, the better your outcomes in your day to day become.
The goals you are looking to achieve in different areas of your life will be the goals of your highest good and those around you.
As you evolve, you allow your ego self to be driven by your inner core, you live and learn as your authentic self. You have a learning mindset and stay connected to your inner core which has the highest intelligence.
Personal Development cuts across religion, which is your interpretation of the revelation of the divine. The need to understand the illusion of the self and practice self improvement tools is universal.
As you practice separation, you are guided in your actions, your meetings, your relationships, your health etc. The resistance from the ego self is managed and you come to flow more with life.
The partnership with your inner core is key. It is maintained as you continue to step away from your ego self on a daily basis.
You may need help along the way. You will be guided as you allow, again using the tools of separation and transformation that resonate with you.
Each of us has received generic and specific programming from our life experiences, that no longer serve us In our present life. The programming is systemic and still ongoing so our inner work is ongoing. It is well worth it.