Managing your Boundaries
Updated: May 13
Honouring your true intentions
This article is specifically about personal boundaries.
As we understand and know self more, we will set personal physical, time, mental emotional or spiritual boundaries around different things
For instance time spent doing something, amounts of eating, drinking, socialising, exercising an activity, doing a project, particular partner characteristics, etc
For example:
To eat/drink something less or not at all
To engage in an activity less or not at all
To engage with another’s behaviour less or not at all
And on and on
Based on our own experiences, and the experiences of others, we set several boundaries as we are desiring a change, evolving, ascending in our reality.
We discover what we prefer and what we do not prefer and we reframe our limiting beliefs/behaviours to what we know empowers us more. We do this consciously and subconsciously.
For example, a boundary such as “I will no longer eat between 7pm and 7am every day”
Or “I will no longer pick up the calls of so so person”
Then strong temptations come. Many times we are not pulled to give in i.e we are able to stick to our preference. Then there are times when we struggle to honour our own boundaries. It is different for everyone as we all have different core limiting beliefs.
Some boundaries are harder to manage because of conflicting beliefs underlining them.
So How do we honour our boundaries when we get really tempted or overwhelmed?.
The temptation will be coming from conflicting beliefs causing cognitive dissonance. These Other beliefs will also sound so rational to our physical mind:
Such as “I am still ok, within quota” “no harm to try” “just this once” or “no one will know”, never say never”, “you have free will”, “i only live once”, “you can handle it”, “best to be kind”, “must not make the other feel uncomfortabLe” on and on etc
The emergence of these conflicting beliefs are your first sign that a core boundary needs attention
Why do we need to uphold our boundaries? I will talk about this later.
First I share 3 strategies to uphold them:
The first strategy is to pause
In that moment of temptation, we pause and take a deep breath. We then get in touch with how we are feeling and decide whether to honour our own values and boundaries
Or whether to give in, listen to the conflicting belief and consequently set aside what we have learnt
Over time we come to realise that it is up to us to push through our tempting conflicting thoughts and scenarios.
This pause and deep breath gets easier with self awareness.
The Second strategy is to Trust
Trust your state of being
Trust your learnt values.
Trust your boundaries
Yes we know that our values do change as we transform, grow and reflect. But rarely do they change in that moment of temptation.
In that split second, when you pause, remember what you know about yourself and trust that you are looking out for YOU.
Trust that the value you set up in your moment of deep reflection after much life experience still makes sense to you, otherwise you would not be in discomfort going against it.
the final strategy is to remember who you really are
The most important thing is to accept the things you know about yourself, trust the path and intentions you have set with your heart. You are a limitless wise being.
If you already know that you have no intention, plans to engage with something, don’t even try to smell it.
This builds your resilience, your backbone.
Hold the space within you to be your own police/observer, a tough and compassionate one
Get help to do this if you need to.
The relationship with yourself is built on trust like any other relationship.
Standing up for a friend is easier than standing up for a stranger.
Become your best trusted buddy, breakthrough after breakthrough
Step by step, dense energies are released and it gets easier to be true to you. The momentum of authenticity builds
So why do we need to honour our boundaries
We are all on a path of reconnecting and aligning to self.
It is sometimes easier not to be mindful of our boundaries, doing what is probably not as fun or sweet, based on the beliefs we have conditioned within and around us.
There is beliefs that actually discourage you from being mindful
Mindfulness, heart centred mindfulness, takes practice.
At the end of the day, we are always going back home with our own self and we know how we feel low at those times, after we have let ourself down.
A bit of to and fro in giving in to temptation is ok, as we are clarifying a boundary, and it gets to a point when we know that a line is not to be crossed.
We have spiritual guides that we can also ask to help us at these times.
There is a certain confident powerful decisiveness that we need to ride the waves, to walk our own success path
Success is created by an empowered mindset
And this confidence comes over time, from honouring our true intentions, upholding our boundaries.
The time comes when we prioritise nurturing our trust of our own word, promise to self.
Be gentle and respectful of YOU
Respect and Honour your empowered intentions and you come to reap the dividends of your confident aligned being.
YOU are worth it
NEXT STEPS
I am a Speaker, Coach, Author, Teacher and Energy Practitioner.
If you are interested in experiencing a change in your outlook, outcomes or experiences and want to work with me as your coach, check out my SMITT Emotional Mastery program here
My work is based on Psychology, Metaphysics and Trauma Informed Quantum Energy Healing.
Access my free resources toolkit here
#smittprogram #emotionalwellbeing #spiritualawakening