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Healing Through Layers

Updated: Mar 5, 2021

How we heal through layers

Healing occurs in stages namely

A) Recovery B) Transformation C) Reconnection/Integration.

The healing journey begins when we attain some safety away from the trauma/danger. Healing is a struggle when we are in the same toxic environment. Some distance is required in mind or physical space.

As we gain this distance from the toxic experience and we start to reflect on our experiences, actually paying attention to the fundamental causes of our pain, we begin to RECOVER. This desire to go within, rather than focus on the outside, (the traumatic experience), despite the discomfort and fear of delving into the so called abyss, is actually the paradox that will stabilize us. We recover emotionally, mentally and physically using recovery tools, till we feel safe and can begin to trust again.

As we recover, we are led to TRANSFORM, exploring and identifying our triggers, fears, the barriers that hold us back in different areas of our lives. It takes dedication and self compassion. We learn to manage, cope and accept what we discover about ourselves, as we explore. This transformational stage can be overwhelming and might be helpful to have a mentor, Coach, therapist assist. In this stage, we realise our limiting thoughts and beliefs, the excuses, reasons, we have given ourselves for holding unto the toxic memories, over the years. We use transformational tools to shift our mindset, our anger, pain, shame, guilt, blame. We push through our mental and emotional limits to embrace more ease and joy within and around us.

As a spiritually connected Transformational Life Coach and Reiki Energy Practitioner, I help you start and go through these three stages.

RECONNECTION/INTEGRATION happens when we realise that the thoughts and beliefs we have been holding are being held by a part of us called the ego self. We see how this ego self operates and we see how it differs from our True Self. We come to understand how the ego self is an illusion, a construct of personalities, identities we have created through conditioning to experience life. We learn to release its dominant hold as the driver of our experiences, to let go of its grasp and to RECONNECT with our true self, the authentic self driven by our spirit core.

The healing journey through these stages is not linear because even as we move past an issue into Reconnection/Integration, we may find ourselves back in a previous healing stage such as Recovery. However, we are in a powerful place than we were the last time we were dealing with an issue. We feel more resilient, it is less overwhelming. It is good to acknowledge this. For instance, after a toxic relationship ends and we recover, beginning to transform, we feel strong enough to marry again. We start our happy relationship and are content, but may find that we struggle with feeling safe and abandoned when certain things happen in the relationship. We know we need to recover some more, heal some more from some toxic experience. We also know that we have done this before and we can feel empowered as we remember. This is natural and ok.

Often times, our healing journey will require many rounds over an experience. This is because the toxic memories exist in many layers, in our mind, body and spirit. In the mind for instance, there are toxic memories embedded in the subconscious that influence our thoughts and perceptions. As we transform, using tools that resonate, that feel effective, that work for us, it does get easier to release the barriers within, feel at ease and expand in our creative expression. TRANSFORMATIONAL TOOLS

ENERGY healing cuts across layers very quickly and effortlessly I find. Also transformational tools that work at the subconscious level, such as subliminal programs are highly effective during healing.

There are thousands of tools that can help us as we try them out. The key thing is to develop our own personal transformational tool kit, of tools that are working for us and to learn to turn to them and use them instinctively again and again, on a daily basis.

I invite you to continue releasing, detaching and letting go of things, scenarios, you now know do not work for you in the life that you prefer. Let go and what is meant for you will resurface in your preferred version. First you have to let go of what is not working.

I always advice, to keep an eye out for tools that work for you and stay open to using new tools that resonate with you in the present. For instance your may have always found prayer helps you surrender and then you also need meditation and forgiveness exercises or inner enquiry or sound healing, or subliminal affirmations, energy healing, crystals, music, art, dance, exercise etc. Stay open to using different combinations of tools, to let go of embedded barriers in your sub conscious mind especially. It all starts with our thoughts, our beliefs.

Developing a loving relationship with our own self through self care is essential and builds the impetus to keep going to help and empower our own self.

Each person is different in their journey but the reconnection/reintegration stage is the goal for those of us wanting to transcend the conflicts within the ego.

As we go deeper in our healing, the three stages go quicker. As we learn and apply what we are clarifying, what meaning our experiences are holding for us, what we are learning about ourselves, we spend more and more time in our reconnection/integration stage.

The more we can fully dwell in this reconnection stage, the more fulfilling and successful our life becomes.


I am a Clarity and Emotional Freedom Coach. I empower you to cultivate emotional mastery. learn more about my Courses and programs here

Take the steps you need for your even more fulfilling life.

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