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4 Steps in Change

Updated: Jun 19, 2023

Change is one thing that is constant in our existence. We change, our loved ones change and our environment changes all the time due to presenting events.

There are times when we feel rather than notice the events and changes within us because they are occurring at a cellular or atomic level. We notice more the physical changes within and around us and learn to adjust to them, especially if they are more or less preferred changes.

Physical and Environmental events bring about quite frequent types of changes such as clock changes, weather changes, personal weight changes etc. We adjust to a great deal of change everyday already, without batting an eyelid, as the resilient beings that we are.

There are events that bring changes that are more multifaceted, affecting us mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

These big events require us to courageously show more loving kindness to our own self. To Be gentle and less judgemental of our own self. This is not the time to compare ourselves to others or to feel critical of ourselves. Big events such as hurricane storms, job loss, death of a loved one, accidents, health Issue, etc, bring more multifaceted changes that need us to adjust in many ways, including fundamentally to forgive our own self and be kind.

For instance for me, going through peri menopause and menopause is a change that I am adjusting to in many ways. Resistance is futile with these types of bigger events, which are out of our control. The event itself is not the issue. The event will present itself differently to each person. For instance, many of my friends experienced menopause at different times in their lives and it impacted them individually very differently. Comparison is futile. We are all one, but we are each unique in our path, so comparing with another and placing judgement is really a waste of our time. Focus on how you are adjusting and gain clarity on what the change means for you. The rest of the process of change follows on once clarity is gained.

The first useful step is really understanding, as much as you can, what is changing, has changed for you. LISTING THE CHANGES either in your mind, audio or on paper, helps you to take the true accurate account of what is going on for you emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. This eliminates the falsehoods of the impact. We sometimes see how an event is affecting another and we think this is how we are being affected. It may well be but take time to clarify what the event means for you. Making a list refocuses your thoughts and stops thoughts rampaging in the heart and physical mind. Note what has changed for you, list them one, two, ...ten, twenty...Take at least 5mins to do this, or come back to it over a day or so. Note the changes down and Breathe. Now you know what you are dealing with. Hold the belief that the changes will help you know more about your abundant self.

Once we know what we are really dealing with, we can respond appropriately. It is our response to changes that matters not the change or the event itself. DETACHMENT is a key step to responding and coping with big changes.

Detachment is not cold. You know what you are really dealing with and you now take a step back from it, knowing this is life presenting to you. The event is naturally existing and you can adjust to it. Detachment is about not trying to control what is happening, to relax, accept and choose to flow with it and see what happens. Making the decision to adjust and flow with all the changes on your list is a choice. Detachment is this loving choice. It releases limitations and raises your capacity, increases your energy level, allowing you to take physical action.

FORGIVING YOURSELF is the bridge to physical action. Forgiving the limiting aspects of your self allows you to do things differently. This relationship between forgiveness of self and expansion of self is natural but can be a struggle. It is almost an invisible relationship. Forgiveness is a powerful transformational tool that dissolves fear. It becomes easier to embody the new idea(s). Finding the new idea and holding it is one thing. Knowing it is life presenting is another. Taking physical action, moving forward requires you to let go of limits within you using transformational tools.

FINDING NEW OPTIONS is the next step. It is about taking physical action. You could Consult a specialist, Read, research about the event, the change, learn different options that you have, that are available to you. Find the best loving, kind option that resonates with you and excites you. The top option(s) that could work for you to the degree to which you know yourself. If taking physical action is a struggle, go back to the previous steps. Dealing with change is often cyclical rather than linear. Be gentle with yourself. When you can find an option, hold it in your mind and release doubts. Trust that finding this option is enough for now. Breathe and be ready to try out the new idea(s) a go. Keep holding the new idea(s), regardless of any doubts. The doubts are the inner critic at work. I talk more about the inner critic in my five day perfectionism detox video series.

When doubts come, feel them and then let them go. Refocus on the new idea you prefer. Feel the doubts, the fear and then refocus on your preferred idea. You can allow yourself to flow with more ease again and again. Just as you have done many times over.

There are thousands of transformational tools, such as energy healing, prayer, gratitude, emotional freedom technique, reflection, clarity mindset, affirmations, meditation, breath work, forgiveness, movement etc. Find the ones that work for you, including forgiveness.

You would have a handful of transformational tools or “permission slips“, you already use instinctively. Transformational tools help us adjust to change, to shift from fear to love. That is what they are there for. To help us adjust. To new phases, new times, new best versions of our own self.

So what changes are you going through right now? In particular, what multi faceted changes are with you now, that you cannot ignore, that need you to take time to detach and respond to. What new ideas, options are ringing true, sounding possible for you. Which tools are you using to adjust within. Take the steps, the time and the help you need to move forward with big changes in your life.


I am a Clarity and Emotional Freedom Coach. I empower you to cultivate emotional mastery. learn more about my Courses and programs here

Take the steps you need for your even more fulfilling life.

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