When the Ego Tries to Hold the Tide

Choosing Pure Awareness Over Control:

Learning to Stand Steady While Life Moves

There is a moment in the awakening journey when we begin to notice something curious about the mind. It is constantly trying to stabilize life.

The image that often comes to me is of someone kneeling at the edge of the ocean with a hammer, trying to nail the shoreline into place before the next wave arrives.

This is not foolishness. It is simply the ego doing what it was designed to do.

The ego seeks stability. It tries to organize the chaos of life into something predictable. It wants relationships to remain secure, plans to unfold neatly, identities to stay intact and the future to cooperate with our expectations.

But awakening slowly reveals something unsettling.

Life is not a fixed shoreline.

It is a tide.

And the more tightly we try to hold the water still, the more tension we feel in our own body.

When Control Becomes a Survival Strategy

For many people the instinct to control life begins very early.

In my own life there were long seasons when control was not a personality trait but a necessity. My childhood carried its own turbulence and stability was not always guaranteed. Expectations were high, emotional safety was uncertain and learning to manage situations became a quiet way of protecting myself.

Later in life this instinct appeared in more socially acceptable forms. I became highly responsible. I learned to plan carefully, anticipate problems and manage outcomes wherever possible. From the outside it looked like competence and resilience. Inside, however, it often felt like pressure.

Many people who carry significant responsibilities recognize this pattern. The mind becomes highly skilled at organizing life. We think ahead. We prepare. We try to prevent disruptions before they occur.

This strategy can build impressive lives.

But it also keeps the nervous system in a subtle state of vigilance.

Awakening Introduces a New Possibility

When spiritual awakening begins to unfold, something unexpected happens.

The instinct to control does not disappear immediately. In fact, it can become more noticeable. As pure awareness deepens, the ego senses that the structures it built are beginning to shift. Its natural response is to hold even tighter.

You may notice this in your own life.

Perhaps you find yourself trying to keep secure a role, a belief, a relationship, or a plan, while something deeper inside is quietly inviting you to let life unfold.

This creates an internal tension.

The mind tries to stabilize life.

Pure Awareness invites us to witness it.

A Different Question

The ego asks a very familiar question:

“How do I stop this tide?”

But awakening introduces another one.

“What am I aligning with as the tide moves?”

That question changes everything.

Because life does not require us to stop the waves. It invites us to discover the deeper ground within ourselves that remains steady while they rise and fall.

Seeing the Urge to Control

In the presence based healing work I facilitate, including Quantum Reiki Soul Psy Awakening, I often see this moment appear in people who are awakening while carrying significant responsibilities.

They are thoughtful, capable individuals who have built meaningful lives through discipline and care. Yet as awareness deepens, they begin to notice how exhausting it can be to hold everything together.

The invitation is not to destroy the ego.

The invitation is to see it clearly.

When the urge to control arises, something very simple can happen.

Pause.

Feel the body.

Notice the tightening that appears when the mind tries to secure an outcome.

Then ask gently, “what am I trying to hold still right now?”

Very often a belief reveals itself.

Perhaps the belief that everything will fall apart if we loosen our grip.

Perhaps the belief that we are personally responsible for holding everything together.

Perhaps the quiet fear that surrender means losing stability altogether.

When these beliefs are seen in pure awareness, something remarkable begins to happen.

They soften.

Not because we defeat them, but because pure awareness itself is larger than the stories trying to organise reality.

Letting Life Move

Over time the practice becomes surprisingly simple.

Focus on the breath.

Feel the body.

Allow the wave to move.

This does not make life passive. We still make decisions, care for people, lead organisations and participate fully in the world. The difference is that our actions begin to arise from clarity rather than anxiety.

Control slowly gives way to trust.

Effort gives way to presence.

And what once felt like a battlefield begins to feel more like an unfolding landscape.

The Quiet Journey of Self-Discovery

Awakening rarely arrives as a dramatic moment. More often it unfolds quietly.

Layers of conditioning begin to reveal themselves. Old identities soften. Stories we once believed about ourselves gradually lose their hold.

At times this process can feel uncomfortable. It can bring uncertainty or grief for the structures we once relied upon.

Yet each layer that falls away reveals something deeper.

Not a new identity, but a clearer relationship with pure awareness that has always been here.

The journey is not about becoming someone else.

It is about discovering what remains when the effort to control life finally relaxes.

Presence in Everyday Life

Mindfulness becomes a simple but powerful companion on this path.

It does not require elaborate techniques. Sometimes it is as quiet as noticing the breath while walking, cooking, or sitting at the start of the day.

These small moments of pure awareness create space between us and the constant movement of thought.

In that space we begin to recognize the patterns of the ego without being completely absorbed by them.

And slowly we learn to respond rather than react.

What Remains

Choosing pure awareness over control is not a single act of surrender.

It is a practice.

A quiet subtle returning again and again to the recognition that life is moving and that pure awareness witnessing it all remains steady.

The tide continues.

Plans change.

Identities evolve.

Responsibilities remain.

And yet something deeper stays constant.

Eventually the self that once tried to nail the shoreline into place realizes something extraordinary.

It was never the waves that needed to stop.

It was the grip that needed to soften.

Next Steps

Bola Abimbola is a Quantum Reiki Practitioner, an Akashic Record Practitioner, Speaker, Author, Teacher, and Energy Coach for High Performers, Host of the Daily Soul Bytes Show

If you are interested in experiencing clarity in your definitions, connecting from wholeness, and want to work with her as your coach, check out her work based on Psychology, Metaphysics, Trauma-Informed Quantum Reiki Energy Healing, and Light Language Channeling.

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https://www.soulspacehealing.com/free-resources

soulspacehealing, emotionalintelligence, quantumreiki, freedom, multidimensionalhealing, psychology